Our Funny Bone

They tell me we all have a funny bone.  I don’t know about other people my age but my bones tend to ache more than they tend to be ( humerus) humorous.  
Statistics tell us the human body contains at least 206 of these valuable items in a variety of sizes.  I haven’t done the counting myself so we’ll just accept the computer’s estimate as being accurate.
Ever have anyone laugh at something you’ve shared with them?  Hopefully these ‘friends’ laughter has nothing to do with either our looks or our mental condition.  Why just the other day our pastor sought to drive his point home by constant repetition.  And, because boredom often leads me to take notes, I jotted down a couple points I wasn’t certain of...and followed this with a bit of my own wisdom.
At the end of his sermon and as we walked out the door...instead of shaking the man’s hand...I handed him two pages of notes and remarked, “Something to think about this week.”
He smiled.  (There must be something in every preacher’s rule book that says they must do that as they shake your hand and say, “Have a good week.”)
As a (supposed) master of Biblical knowledge I had earlier found there were several things the dear man said that directed my funny bone and the ones holding my pen to suggest his suggestions on our ‘forever path’ might not really be paved entirely with good intentions.  For one thing the man entirely ignored the free will of the three year-old twins that were earlier housed in one of the pews.
Growing bored...or not understanding or caring what the pastor said, these two children yelled, got away from their loving grandmother, and ran up different aisles.  PLUS their elevated voices drowned out several important points the head guy was trying to make.  Soon this important man was taught a  lesson that every mother learns early on.  When a child’s ‘free will’ is exercised to extreme...
STOP what you’re doing, corral the little renegades, and take them into another room where the noise is at least muffled.  (ME? I would have swatted a couple small behinds to give them something to really yell about!  To heck with their free will...what about all those church goers who we being obedient and listening?)
NOW, to recap/get back to what was happening at the podium...There were several things the man said that I disagreed with.  The first was that ‘Jesus’ was such a sacred name that it wasn’t given to anyone else.  When I was in elementary school there were several of my third grade class mates who carried this name on their birth certificate. These were children whose parents came up from Mexico each summer to work in the fields.  (Evidently they hadn’t gotten the same message our pastor had.)
The next thing the man said that caused my pen to begin hurriedly jotting was that, because he was a pastor, his life should be a pattern for all of us to adopt.  That was more than a mere fabrication or he’d never had a large can of paint land on his toe.  (I say a bit more than, “darn” at a time like that.)
Now, perhaps you get up each morning as this gentleman does, do a few aerobics, eat breakfast (praying first, of course), and go to your study for a bit of study...  Evidently this man doesn’t have all the interruptions that find their way to interrupt many of our days.
With today’s cell phones it isn’t just people who need an emergency prayer who call at all times during the 24 hour day.  Sales people, wrong numbers, and relatives who live alone and who call several times a day having nothing better to do have encouraged me to...when I’m really busy...leave my phone in the car.
Other solutions to my learning what grandma had for breakfast, then later in the day what she had for lunch is I’ve learned how to turn my phone off.  This is especially important at time when I’m in conference with the Lord.  If He can wait for me to do ‘my thing’...I feel I should give Him the same courtesy.
Another solution that has worked quite well  for me is to hit the ‘answer’ button, listen long enough to see if I really want to answer this call, then if the result is in the negative...I start talking in some foreign language that the caller doesn’t understand.  Often this will cause them to hang up.
With all the (valuable0 comments  I make to the pastor each Sunday, I’m almost certain that one day he’ll suggest, “Since you appear to know it all...why not give the message next Sunday?”
If he ever does this I’ve decided I will applaud his sense of humor, and, of course, refuse his generous offer.  I’m not a pastor.  What do I know about expressing my opinion on heaven, hell, and every-day life?  After all, we’re all just students during this journey to earth.  As far as I know, no one has really ever visited two of these places...and returned to tell about it.  Plus, until they do...we’re all just rehearsing for the real thing...through many centuries of rehearing the same, old instructions on how to behave...in order to one day reside in the place of our choosing.
Still...I’ve decided it doesn’t hurt to behave...after all...and just in case..the life I save...might be my own!

See complete story in the Journal Record.
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